"Did I just hallucinate?"

So last week, ShreddedWheat decided to drop by to tell Mum how much he still loved her or something.
Didn't exactly do it in the right way, let himself in (yes the door was locked, he has a key) at around midnight on a sunday night, drunk. Asking to see our mother. We refused, obviously.
He then left Mum a 10 minute answermachine message which told her that she needed to stop messing him around (!). And then just gave a nice journey through the taxi drive home and his arrival.

Yeah. As if that wasn't enough.
So last night, ExFarmersWife came round at around the same time and in quite the same state. She had been out for a curry with Dad and TheOtherWoman but "couldn't handle it" so had left early. Poor woman. She then ran into ShreddedWheat and smacked him. Why? We know not.

Mum lost her mobile phone last night so was forcing me to text her friends (so i found out she was flirting with a married man last night who she claimed "was a really nice guy").
ScottishCarrieBradshaw met GrubbyLondoner last night and apparently this didn't go well. Mum didn't tell me much but it all ended in tears.

Told MotherNextDoor (next door neighbour and friend of Mums) all of this, she instructed me to write this blog, had a nice chat about it while walking around Ikea, she bought me a hotdog and everything.

Oh, AND GrandmaFag called someone a Paki today.
You can't make this stuff up man.
Over.